Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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