Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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