well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
