you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
