haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
