16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
