I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
