did you get engaged???
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
