i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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