just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
