I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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