i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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