I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize