So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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