There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Randomize