Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
