ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Randomize
