There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
time to smoke my breakfast
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
