ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
