As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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