I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
