He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
