I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
