you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
