We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Randomize
