you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The air was thick with penises
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
