Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
