great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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