dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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