Do you still have your period?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
