she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
