Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I have grass duct taped all over my body
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
