how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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