tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
