I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
