His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
