I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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