I faked an abortion last night.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
