Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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