i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
