Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
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