That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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