so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
