In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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