Everything about him screamed your future.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
