We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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