I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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