Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
