I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
