So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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