Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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