I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
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