I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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