And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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