Don't you send me to vm
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
