You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
