i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
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