don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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