Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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