your thong is hanging out like whoa
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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