I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
