Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My pussy is not your playground.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
