then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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