And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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