If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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