Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Randomize
