There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
